Health
Raising a child with special needs
By Oreoluwa Odusanya
When a child is born, parents often begin imagining the future ahead: the schools the child will attend, the career they may pursue, the friends they will make and the milestones they will reach as they grow.
Those expectations can change when a child is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Cerebral Palsy, Down syndrome, an intellectual disability or a developmental delay.
For some parents, the diagnosis may bring uncertainty about whether their child will speak, walk, learn in school, make friends, live independently or work as an adult. Some may blame themselves or wonder whether something they did during pregnancy or after the child was born caused the condition.
Others may feel fear because they do not know what the diagnosis means or what kind of help their child will need. These feelings are understandable, but a diagnosis does not mean that a child has no future or cannot live a meaningful life.
In Nigeria, the challenge can be compounded by stigma and misconceptions surrounding children with disabilities and developmental conditions.
Some families may face insensitive comments from relatives or neighbours, while others may encounter beliefs that attribute a child’s condition to spiritual attacks, ancestral curses or parental wrongdoings, and such beliefs can delay families from seeking proper medical care and support.
While reliable local data can be difficult to obtain, estimates from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that about 17 per cent of children aged three to 17 in the United States have one or more developmental disabilities.
A special needs therapist, Olamide Adedoyin, said, “A clinical diagnosis is not the end of a child’s journey. It is a roadmap that reveals how a child processes the world and where structured support must begin.
“Too many parents get stuck in despair, forgetting that the child before them still possesses distinct talents, a unique personality, and capacity for growth.”
Here are things parents of children with special needs should know:
Understand and accept the diagnosis
Accepting a diagnosis does not mean giving up on a child or lowering expectations. Rather, it can help parents understand the child’s needs and begin looking for appropriate support.
“Acknowledging the emotional shock does not mean you love your child any less, but denying the diagnosis can delay the early support a child may need. Research shows that the early years are an important time for a child’s brain development and learning,” Adedoyin said.
Prioritise early clinical intervention
When a child misses developmental milestones, parents may assume that the child will eventually catch up without professional assessment. However, persistent concerns about speech, movement, communication, learning, behaviour or sensory responses should be discussed with an appropriate health professional rather than dismissed as a phase.
Families may also encounter unverified treatments or advice from people who promise quick solutions. While spiritual support may be important to some families, it should not replace appropriate medical assessment and evidence-based intervention.
“Faith and medicine can work hand in hand, but spiritual hope must never replace speech therapy, occupational intervention, or behavioural support that helps a child develop essential skills,” Adedoyin warned.
Share the caregiving burden
Regular therapy sessions, medical appointments, school-related challenges, and financial responsibilities can leave parents physically and emotionally exhausted. When one parent carries most of the caregiving responsibilities, the pressure can become even more difficult to manage.
“Parenting a child with complex needs requires deliberate, unified partnership. Couples must discard unhelpful cultural blame games, speak honestly about financial and physical exhaustion, and intentionally carve out time to nurture their relationship beyond their caregiving roles,” Adedoyin advised.
Create an advocacy
Parents may have to speak up repeatedly for their children, particularly when seeking appropriate education, healthcare and social inclusion.
Some families face difficulties finding schools that can adequately support children with developmental or learning needs, while the cost of specialised services may also make available options difficult to access.
Adedoyin advised, “Parents cannot afford to keep their children hidden at home out of fear of social prejudice; they must be the voice that engages school administrators, educates neighbours, insists on dignity in social settings, and equips the child with clear personal boundaries.”
Build a support network
Caring for a child with special needs can be demanding, particularly when parents have little practical help. Managing appointments, therapy sessions, school responsibilities and the child’s daily routines can leave caregivers exhausted.
A psychologist, Maria Davies, said parents should not regard asking for help as a sign that they are failing their children.
“Caregiver self-care is not a luxury; it is a clinical necessity for a child’s long-term wellbeing. It is important for parents to connect with local parent support groups, train trusted relatives on their child’s specific routines, and accept that asking for respite care is a sign of wisdom, not parental failure,” she said.
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